Letting go....

I have many blessings in my life but one of the most surprising ones was when God blessed me with a son when he was 10 years old.  It was very rough at first as I had rules and he had not had any at all.  He liked to play video games all day and I came along and said he could only do that for an hour a day.  He used his asthma as an excuse to do NOTHING and I'm not one who puts up with excuses.  He had a lot of bad things happen in his short life and wanted to use them all as excuses to fail.  I've had a lot of bad things happen in my life and try to use them as excuses to succeed.  We were like oil and water. 

This young man didn't want to play in the band in middle school or do chorus.  I was the mom from hell and said you will do one or the other.  He said "fine, I'll play the tuba"; I said "fine, the school will provide it".  He said "fine I'll play the trombone"; I said "fine, we'll rent one."

He grew to love the trombone thanks to a wonderful middle school teacher who took a special interest in him.  Gary Whitis was a huge influence on him and his passing when my son was a freshman in high school was hard on him.  He then had the good fortune to have a wonderful high school band director who let my son explore many genres of music; from classical to jazz to ska and much more.  My son was in the NKY Select band every year he was of age and was usually first chair.  He was first chair in the KMEA Allstate Jazz Band at the age of 16.  He won many awards and much recognition due to the amazing talent he has.  This past year, the reggae band he played with won the Cincnnati Entertainment Award.  To say I'm proud of him puts it mildly.

It's not always been easy.  We've butted heads.  Nothing a few push ups wouldn't fix. :) He has never given me a minute of worry.  While some of his friends were doing things they shouldn't, he stayed true to himself. Our blended family has had a lot happen to us in the 12 and 1/2 years we've been together.  A lot has changed.  He is no longer the 5' tall, chubby little boy who does nothing but play video games and can't stand still for a minute.  He is 6'3", would rather play his horn then eat and loves all kinds of music (except country, which we disagree on).  When he was 19 years old he asked me to adopt him.  I told him that he was an adult and that I was already his mom as far as I was concerned, but he wanted me to and said you're my mom and I want everyone to know.  So I did.  May 11th, 2009, one of the happiest days of my life. 

My daughters never considered him a step-brother, just their brother.  The oldest girl threatened a bully who was picking on him when he was in 6th grade.  She was in 8th grade and almost a foot shorter, but she wasn't going to let anyone pick on her brother.  I'm happy to say that my three children are fine young adults and they love each other very much.  I have no doubt that they will always be there for each other.

He just received the Undergraduate Award for Secondary Education from the College of Education at Morehead State University.  My husband and I are so very proud of him.  Both the girls have moved away and have their lives and are quite happy.  And now it is his turn.  We are preparing to move him to Cambridge Massachusetts.  He will be studying music performance at the Longy Conservatory of Bard College, where he was awarded the largest monetary scholarship that they gave this year.  He even received a call from the President of the Conservatory.  Who knows what lies before him.  He is truly going to be living his dream.  His dad and I are going to miss him terribly.  No more trombone playing for hours on end.  No more craziness.  No more weird concoctions being cooked in the kitchen.  No more kisses on the top of my head.  No more picking on JoJo.

God blessed me with a son.  He trusted me to raise him to become a man.  His dad and I have done our best.  We've made mistakes, but we always did our best.  This amazing young man will start his own life next week.  I'm sure he's ready, even though I want to think he will always need me. I know he doesn't.  God trusted me and now I will trust Him to look after my son as  he lives his dream. 

The shop will be closed beginning Wednesday, May 30th until Thursday, June 14th.  You can reach me by email or on my cell phone.

Love Letters w/SUJI

Tomorrow at 12:30, join Susan Thompson as she shows us how to make these beautiful boxes out of envelopes.  These would be perfect for a gift card or small gift.  We have a couple of spots left, just give me a call on my cell 859-466-2164 to let me know if you're coming.  You will need to bring an exacto knife, cutting mat, red line tape and two sided adhesive.  If you haven't taken one of Susan's classes, you don't know what you're missing.  Check out her gallery on SplitCoast under SUJI!

My heart is broken...

Conner Cougar Croushore
May? 2002 - May 7, 2012

Oct. 2002 - I picked up Sara at Conner High School one afternoon and a girl had a beautiful dog with a bandana on it sitting in the lobby.  She had found it a few days before tied up to the fence at the Humane Society, dirty, hungry, cold, scared.  She took it home and bathed it and was told she couldn't keep it.  She was looking for a good home for it.  Sara was begging me, I was having no part of it.  I was trying to take care of a blended family of 6 and it was chaotic to say the least.  Mary Sargent - Asst. Principal at CHS told me I needed this dog, Sara was pleading, so I finally said "ask Paul and see what he says".  Knowing good and well he would say NO.  That evening, Sara, in her sweetest voice said, "Pauuullll, can we have a dog?"  His response, "Sure, honey.  Anything you want."  Ugh!  I had lost this battle.  Sara and I went to the girl's home the next day and brought "Conner" home.  This was one of the absolute BEST things to ever happen in my life.  Without a doubt.  We called her Conner Cougar Croushore after the high school.  I thought she was just a puppy and when we took her to the vet, Dr. Greenfield said she was 7 - 10 months old.  We got her shots, got her fixed and settled in. 

I remember Kimmy H. saying her son would say are we talking about Jacob Sarah or Conner Doggie Sara?  People may not know our names, but they would know Conners'. She loved everybody!  The most easy disposition you ever saw in a dog.  She loved all the kids on the street and the attention they gave her.  She loved her walks with Paul every evening, coming into the office at 5:00, looking at him as if to say "what's the deal?  it's time for me."  She loved it when Justin would pick her up (all 50 pounds of her) and fly her around the house and up the stairs so she didn't have to walk up them. (She had severe hip dysplasia)  She loved to climb into Laura's bed and snuggle with her and listen to her secrets.  She loved to snuggle with Sara and tolerated her and Natalie dressing her up in the latest styles.  She loved it when Dennis would come over and lay on the floor beside her and rub her.  She loved all the "kids" (now adults) who came in and out of our house and would just sit and let them pet her forever.  She loved having the Ink or Dye girls come over once a month and would take her turns at being petted by each.  (Her black coat would often sparkle with glitter). She has tolerated Jo Jo coming to live with us.  She's run more with Jo and played more, Jojo has been a blessing to Conner as she's gotten older.  She would always be by my side when I'm home, laying right in the middle of whatever project I would be doing.  She was all of our best friend! 

We've known for a long time that she was not feeling "young".  Last night she wouldn't get up to go to bed.  Justin went to pick her up and "fly" her away, and she screamed in pain.  I petted her and she screamed again.  Paul called Dr. Greenfield and he came right over.  After taking a good look at her, he said we needed to go to the animal urgent care and of course, we didn't hesitate.  They took x-rays and wanted to operate immediately.  We chose to wait until today and see what Dr. Jeff had to say.  We took her in at 8 before his surgeries began.  The news wasn't good.  She had a large mass.  She was in a lot of pain.  We had no choice.  We could not let her suffer anymore.  Paul, Jeff, and I, all three, crying.  Horrible.  Sad.  Hurts so bad.   She has no more pain.  She's running around in God's garden chasing the birds and letting them know that it's her yard. 

I love you Conner Cougar Croushore and I always will.  Thank you God for bringing her into our lives.